


The Birth and Death of a Shadow

by PhoenyxoftheAshes



Category: Final Fantasy X & Final Fantasy X-2
Genre: F/M, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:43:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25491823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenyxoftheAshes/pseuds/PhoenyxoftheAshes
Summary: Shuyin? Just a shadow. It may look like him, but the real Shuyin died long ago. Even after a thousand years, his hate and misery linger on. His feelings grew so strong, they began to act on their own... eventually, they became a shadow—a shade that wants only to vanish, but cannot.
Relationships: Lenne/Shuyin (Final Fantasy X-2)





	The Birth and Death of a Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> A Final Fantasy X-2 Songfic - "Hello" by Evanescence

_Playground school bell rings again_

_Rain clouds come to play again_

The world keeps moving forward, but my beloved and I remain unsent. I was gunned down with my beloved in Bevelle. I lost consciousness while reaching out to her. She was mouthing something, but I could not make out what she was trying to say. Before I knew it, everything was dark. I had awoken in a cave. 

I’m not sure how I got there, but it became my new home. A home filled with Pyreflies and darkness which tortured me. I am stuck for an eternity in this den, forced to relive her death…a death which was my fault…

_Has no one told you she's not breathing?_

I cry out in pain. ‘ _Dear gods, make this stop_.’ I’m shouting into the darkness; cursing these damn Pyreflies for making me watch that moment over and over and over…

_Hello, I am your mind giving you someone to talk to_

_Hello_

I don’t know when it happened. But my spirit became corrupted. The Shuyin that once existed – the bright, bubbly and fun guy who loved others, and was beloved by many in Zanarkand was long, long gone. In his place a shade was now residing. A cold, hateful, vengeful shell of a man I once was. At first, this shadow started out as a whisper. A low murmur of hatred and despair which resonated in my mind. Over the centuries, he became my shield. He began protecting me from the pain I was forced to experience for hundreds of years. This voice in my head became my only companion. 

_If I smile and don't believe_

_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream_

At first, I tried to remain hopeful. Typically, I was the source of encouragement and hope in my group of friends. I was ever the optimist. This trait didn’t disappear right away after my death. I continued to believe I would find a way to be free from this cave, and I would be able to find her again. And then we can finally rest in peace. I just need to remain strong…

_Don't try to fix me I'm not broken_

_Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide_

Maybe it was around the 800 year mark? But the shadow began to take over my personality, and “Shuyin” began to die. I remained strong and hopeful for so many years, but I could not fight this hatred forever. Slowly over the centuries, my personality became corrupted. I don’t think she would have recognized me if she saw me. By the time the shade took over, I came to terms with my fate. This was for the best. “Shuyin” had to die, so this shadow could be born. A shadow which was going to free Spira, and myself, from suffering. The shadow that has been developing for my protection for nearly a millennia would be the ultimate liberator to this would. It would be my salvation. 

It would be Spira’s salvation too. 

_Don't cry_

I was ever the “cry baby”. My despair was so strong, it affected the Pyreflies in a way in which the memories and emotions I held became imprinted into the environment. Every time I thought of that fateful event, I watched it happen all over again. And I cried; oh how I cried. I sobbed, I begged, I pleaded for the pain to stop. I think that’s how “Shuyin” died. Every time I wallowed in despair, a part of my soul died. Then the Pyreflies fed on those emotions even more. Soon, the cave had become a den of highly charged Pyreflies. I laughed: ‘ _kind of like a hellish version of the Farplane, right?_ ’ But now it’s of no matter. The shade was taking over. 

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping_

My hatred continued to grow. My despair, anger, and sadness continued to build and infested the cave. I am never leaving this cave. It is now, and forever will be, my torturous hell.

_Hello I'm still here_

_All that's left of yesterday_

I thought my resolve as the shadow was strong, but for the briefest moment my lighter side began to cry out. ‘ _No please, I’m still here! Someone…anyone…please help_.’ I began to sob. I didn’t want to become this shadow. Fighting off the shadow was of no use: “Shuyin”, the cry baby, finally died in this cave. After his final plea for help, he became silent for good. He’s never coming back.

Eventually I was freed from my dark prison. I caught a ride with a death seeker and began to explore Spira. At first I used his body to search for her, but was unable to find her spirit. Maybe she already moved on to the Farplane?

My focus then went to finding and using Vegnagun. I noticed that Spira never changed at all. People were still fighting each other. There was still the same amount of hatred there was a thousand years ago. ‘ _My gods, have they not evolved AT ALL?_ ’

My host, though, became difficult to deal with. He often fought me off, full well knowing what I planned to do. He was successful on multiple occasions. Other times, I was able to take full control. He never told anyone about this. Perhaps fear of being viewed of as insane? 

My time in this host did not last long, though. When I finally found Vegnagun again, the mechanical beast sensed his desire to destroy it. He has his own plan of destroying the colossus so that I couldn’t use it to carry out my plan. The machina fled from us. No matter, though. I soon caught a ride with his buddy. That white haired Bevellian Yevonite. It made my stomach twist knowing people like him still existed in this world. How I hate Bevelle. How I hate this ridiculous religion that was created after the war…

Together, we found were Vegnagun fled. I began to operate it with the organ which sat on the head of the beast. It’s ironic, really. I often played for Lenne; I was the music to her lyrics. I occasionally wrote songs and she would sing them. Other times, she would write them and I would play for her as she sang. But now I will be using my talent to destroy the world. And then _finally_ , I can rest with her.

I almost saw the goal come to fruition. But that girl and her friends…they tried to stop me. I laughed at their feeble attempts to stop this powerful machina. At least, I did at first. It turns out this girl and her group were a little more powerful than I had anticipated. 

They were, in fact, able to beat Vegnagun. I was panicking. My plans were falling apart in front of me _AGAIN_. ‘ _No...I cannot fail her again!_ ’

I fought them. This girl tried to trick me by masquerading as Lenne. But once I realized the girl was not my beloved, I fought her. I was completed resolved to kill that bitch. ‘ _How dare she try to trick me into thinking she was Lenne?!_ ’ This fucking bitch. I was going to make her pay.

…But I was defeated. Defeated again. My despair rose to the surface, overcoming my anger. With it, came an old familiar voice…

It was the older version of myself. The one that I had thought dead. “Shuyin” was begging for help. That’s when I saw a bright light shining from the girl. And then my beloved appeared.

The shadow tried to strike at her, because it couldn’t possibly be her. But then she held my hand and I held hers…

“Lenne…”

“Hi there.”

I think… in that moment, I was reborn. The shadow became quieter as I gazed upon her beautiful face.

“A thousand years, and this moment is all we get?” This was the shadow’s final words before her message finally snuffed him out of existence.

“This moment is enough. I don’t need anything else. Just knowing how you feel is enough.”

And with that, the darkness which overcame my heart; the blood red filter which colored my vision…all of it disappeared. The light which shone from Lenne’s kind-hearted and loving soul banished any trace of the shadow that was within me. I remembered my final plea for help in the Den...

‘ _No please, I’m still here! Someone…anyone…please help_.’ Perhaps my prayers were answered?

_Hello I'm still here_

_All that's left of yesterday_

I had returned. The real me. The one that was thought to be dead long ago. I was finally Shuyin again.

“Shuyin, let’s end this. Let’s go home.”

“Can we?” It sounded almost too good to be true. I couldn’t possibly move on, not after everything I had done.

“That was all a thousand years ago. We’ve come too far to look back now.”

Her voice was so soothing to my soul. “Rest, Shuyin. Rest with me.”

It was too much for me to take. I didn’t deserve her. I began to sob into my hands. I loved her so much, and for some unknown reason; she loved me in return.

“Let’s go, I have a new song for you.”

I held on to her tightly, as if she was my protection from myself. A protection from my darker side. I never wanted to slip into that darkness ever again. I knew that as long as I had Lenne, I would be okay. She was my light, and with her by my side, I wouldn’t have to worry about the shadow ever again.

Together we faded away and finally entered the Farplane. We finally were together. We were finally able to rest in peace. My prayers had been answered, and the shadow had finally been defeated.

**Author's Note:**

> Thought this up while listening to Evanescence's song "Hello". I think it fit Shuyin's situation pretty well. Let me know what you think


End file.
